Goodbye 2010, Welcome 2011!

2010 was a year of firsts. First joys with Emma, first smiles, first laughs, first steps, first hugs. First milestones as a family. First challenges as a married couple. But we made it. The door to 2010 is closing, and I'm glad to put it in the history books. Why? Because despite the joyful year with my daughter, I still spent 2010 feeling like a bitter infertile woman. Feeling secretly jealous of friends who got pregnant (even though I was desperately happy for them). Wondering if I would ever get to feel the amazement of being pregnant again, or whether this was "IT" for me. I pray that God will help me find a way to let go of all that long-held sadness and be content with what I have.

2011 will continue to be a year of first, but also a year of renewed joy as Emma grows and as I throw myself back into my life as a mother, wife, and psychologist. I've made some choices to start spending a few evenings a month away from Emma so that I can become a better teacher, and thinking of possibly starting to apply for jobs at colleges. I want to become more well-rounded as a human being, taking care of my physical, emotional and spiritual health. Emma and I will start toddler/mommy yoga in late January as a way to start my physical health focus, I'm going to spend more time meditating and journaling to take care of my emotional health, and I think it's time to try and go back to church, and see if I can find a home church that will help my spiritual needs. I really want Emma to know church also -- to hear the hymns and learn the stories that I learned as a child.

More than anything, I would like peace. Peace in my heart, peace in the world, and peace for all that suffer. That's not asking too much, is it?

Long-Needed Update on Sleep

Ahhh.... my gorgeous girl got my lovely thin, very static-y hair. Very cute though!


I've been meaning to type a short post on sleep issues again. Not bad things, just an update. So we pretty much gave up for the short-term on having Emma fall asleep on her own in the crib. It was stressful for all of us, and between the teeth, then the illness, and everything else, we changed the routine. Now I just rock her to sleep and put her in the crib.

Amazingly enough, it's working like a charm. We do our bedtime ritual, I nurse her, we read a story, I turn off the light and sing her nighttime song, and then we rock. It typically takes 4-5 minutes for her to fall asleep and then I get my warm Emma cuddles for another 5-10 minutes and put her in the crib. She'll sleep there -- WITHOUT a peep!! -- for a good 2 1/2 - 3 hours. She had been waking up screaming after the first 50-60 minutes in the crib and then taking another 30 minutes to get back to sleep, so this is a huge step forward.

We bring her to bed and I'll dream-feed her, and then we go to sleep. This is where it's still been challenging. She still wakes every 3-4 hours and wants to feed, and I've been starting the night-weaning process but each time I do, it seems like something comes up. The first time it was her gums swelling and we thought her molars were starting to come in. Then it was this virus that took all three of us down. But now we're back on track. Last night was terrible, but the night before.... she slept (drumroll please....) for 6 hours without any problems!!! Unfortunately I was still up every 2 hours between the call of nature and some insomnia, but it was wonderful.

Another step forward is how long she sleeps. She had been waking up when I got out of bed for work, or sometimes waking at 5am for random reasons. But lately she'll sleep typically until 7am, and sometimes even until 8am! We're averaging 12 hours a night. That, plus her one nap (lasting on average an hour and a half), I feel like she's doing ok.

I'm confident that in the next few months that I'll be able to drop the 1am and 3am feedings (she doesn't do the 1am one half the time already unless she's ill or teething), and I'm hopeful to drop the 10pm one after that. So that would meaning nursing at 7pm when we're getting ready for bed and then nursing at 6am when we wake up for the day.

It would be *glorious* if I could get 8 hours of sleep in a row. I fantasize about sleep still, and the longest I've slept in a row since she was born was 4 hours, but I'm also learning how to cope with limited sleep and how to go back to sleep faster after she does pop off from nursing.

And so this isn't a word-only post, here's my gorgeous little girl wearing her supper. We had turkey, pasta with sauce, and mango soy yogurt, LOL.

MmmMmmm.... Yogurt!

Emma does love yogurt! (soy, of course) Daddy thinks she looks a little like Colonel Sanders in this picture.

Merry Christmas 2011

Merry Christmas!

Somehow we survived Christmas Eve, thank goodness. On Wednesday, Emma had vomiting and had to stay home from daycare. By Thursday, the vomiting was gone and she had diarrhea all day, poor thing. She was a trooper through the whole thing. But by Friday night/Saturday morning, Mommy and Daddy had the virus she had brought home. Daddy started vomiting at midnight on Friday night/Saturday morning, and I started around 4:30am. He was done vomiting by noon but was completely wiped out from no sleep. He and Emma took me to urgent care by 8:30am (they open at 8am and had already had 4 cases similar to mine) and they gave me an anti-nausea shot and some IV fluids. Despite that, and repeated doses of the med, I kept throwing up what little was in my stomach until about 8pm last night; the diarrhea has slowed down for me now. Even water wouldn't stay down yesterday. Poor Emma -- both parents were lying on the couch in a stupor. We barely had the energy to change her diaper and feed her. But she mostly self-entertained and didn't destroy too much of the house. I'm proud of my baby girl for handling it the way she did. Ugh... it's the sickest I've been in probably 12 years.

This morning we're mostly recovered. We got up and opened gifts, and spread them out through the day. She got a lot of presents -- with her birthday so close to Christmas, there's a LOT in the house, but we plan on taking 80% of the gifts and storing them in her closet, and then bringing out something new every month (and putting something back in). I'll try to list all the presents here (birthday and otherwise) later so I can remember them all for thank-you cards! :) But in the short term, thank you every one for your generosity! She's had a fabulous day.

One Year Updates

At our ped appointment today, Emma was 29 1/2 inches tall (I think she's probably 30 inches tall but she was very squirmy when they were measuring her), and 19 lbs 11 oz. She would have weighed more, but she woke to vomit this morning at 4am, 4:45am, and then vomited on the way to daycare all of her breakfast (around 8:30) and then threw up again around 9am. I did what I needed to at work and came back to be with her, and she hadn't thrown up again today, but we're just taking it light on the solids and giving her lots of momma milk.

She's walking with ease, climbing up on things, and has learned how to get down safely from the couch and the bed. She grabs with her fingers and has her pincher grip mastered, and can easily transfer things from one hand to another.

She loves food! Her new favorite is hummous, cheerios, yogurt (soy) and of course, cake! She really enjoys chicken and butternut squash. And she's loving strawberries and grapes. We're still breastfeeding (YAY!) and she probably nurses 4-5 times a day and 2-3 times a night. We are starting the night weaning process (disrupted by the vomiting last night, of course).

We haven't had more than 4 hours of sleep in a row since she was born (with that one exception of a 5-hour stretch) where she rouses enough to cry and want to nurse. I am looking forward to her sleeping 8 hours in a row without crying or searching for my boob in the night!

She's talking more and more. She says Momma, Dadda, Kitty, Delilah, Samson, More, All Done, Banana, and today she said "Good Nap" after we were done with her nap. She mimics our words more frequently.

I can't believe the cognitive leaps she's making. At daycare she "helps quite a bit. They ask her to go get a bib out of the drawer and bring it to them, and she will. The other day her primary caregiver asked her if she was tired and wanted to take a nap, and Emma walked over to her crib and waited for Cathy to pick her up and put her in it. She'll pick out her own coat. She pushes her arms and legs through sleeves and pantlegs to help us get her clothing on. She walks all the way out of her classroom, through the building at daycare, and out to my car on her own (she knows which one it is).

She is absolutely a joy and a blessing for us. Everywhere we go, people smile and wave at her, and she likes to wave and smile back. As long as I'm within sight, she has virtually no stranger anxiety. She LOVES other babies (I hope we can give her a brother or sister someday).

I'm excited about our 4 days off together. Hopefully we'll take lots of pictures and get lots of cuddle time. I love my little girl. :)

Birthday Cake, Part 2

Happy Birthday!

My miracle child is one year old today. 12 months. 365 days. I'm still in awe that this little person came out of my body, and that she's thriving so well. I'll do a developmental/growth update tomorrow after her pediatrician's appointment, but let's just say that she's had some cognitive leaps lately that just surprise me. We didn't have the best night last night (I'm starting to night wean her and it's not going great) but it's still wonderful to have her cuddling with me.

Long day at work for Mommy, but I'm sending over cupcakes for daycare and then we'll open presents tonight when I get home. Hope to take and upload pictures later!

Just a Year Ago....

I was sitting in my living room, bouncing on my exercise ball and timing my contractions. We left for the hospital a few hours from now. Tonight I'm watching my baby girl sleep, preparing for a long (long, long, long!) day at work tomorrow, and wondering at the amazing changes in such a short year. I hope to have time to post some pictures and update tomorrow. My little one is turning ONE YEAR OLD!!

Early Birthday Party!

We had Emma's birthday party today -- it was a nice time! We didn't have a big party, just a few close friends, and it was really nice. Here's a few videos.

Preparing for the party!



Yummy Cake!!






Done with cake.... SO full!

Emma's Christmas Dress

We had Emma wear this pretty dress to daycare yesterday, partly because we don't really have any Christmas parties to "dress up" for, but also because there was a sing-a-long at daycare and we thought it would be nice if she could dress up for that. She looked so much like a little girl instead of a baby!

The Model

Here she is! Modeling not only the sweater, but the matching scarf (tucked into the sweater) and hat (with ear flaps!) that Mommy made.

Emma's Sweater!

I finally made an article of clothing! First time I've made something other than a blanket, scarf or hat. It's a gorgeous sweater, and although it's a little snug, it fits. I'm making her a matching hat and will post pictures of her wearing both once I get them, but for the short term, here's a picture of the finished product!

Busy, Busy Emma

As we creep closer to her first birthday, Emma is growing and learning by leaps and bounds. She constantly amazes me, and is a source of daily joy for me. Here are a few fun videos to share.

Emma wearing Daddy's fleece that I made him several years back. :)



This was fascinating -- this morning while Daddy ran out to get a few groceries for our crock pot recipe, Emma found our pans and was very methodical about moving them from one part of the house to another.

Memories

December is a month of memories for me. On this date, three years ago, we learned that we had lost our first baby. I was supposed to be 10 weeks, 4 days along (or something close to that). When I think of that night, those weeks, I remember the pain and grief.... and I realize that even today, there is a profound loss of innocence that I'll not be able to re-capture.

One year ago today, I was rubbing my belly and experiencing my little Trouble kicking, rolling and moving around, reminding me that she was there, alive and with me at every moment. I was so filled with love, and with hope. It was indescribable.

And now... today, I watch my daughter fall asleep in my arms, nestled in her blanket after a day of playing and giggling, of throwing herself at Daddy, burying her face in my neck for snuggles, and it's still amazing, still heart-stopping. I hope and pray I never, ever take her for granted.

And so this isn't just a sappy, word-filled post, here's a video of the last time we were at the zoo, and shots of our backyard fun later on that day. :)

*whew*

It's been a wee bit busy lately. I get up at 6am, am out the door by 7:30, home by 6, Emma in bed by 7:30, paperwork until 9pm, and then scramble to get a few things done until I collapse in bed between 10 and 10:30. I'm not sure if I'm coming or going sometimes! :) I hope there's time to plan my little girl's 1st birthday celebration. One year. There is NO way it's already been a year. Wow.

In the short term, my blog has been neglected but I have time to throw up a few videos. Here she is, playing at the "Planet" playground at the mall. We went there the Saturday after Thanksgiving when we got back from Chicago so that Daddy could take a nap in peace.

Thanksgiving Hotel

We had the most fabulous hotel room, thanks to Aunt Ann!! Emma and Daddy had fun with the chair, and Emma really enjoyed having two rooms to explore. Here's some video.

Thanksgiving!

Today I am Thankful For My...

Beautiful daughter
Supportive and loving husband
Wonderful family
Amazing "adopted" family and friends online
Challenging job
Inspiring clients and students
Secure home
Snuggly kitties
Delicious food
Warm clothes
God's Love!

I hope everyone has a wonderful, wonderful Thanksgiving!

Our Fort

11 Months Old

Wow, where has the time gone? Is it possible that Emma will be a year old in 30 days? I can't really believe it. One year ago I was huge, enjoying the feeling of my baby girl growing inside of me and washing all her teeny-tiny clothing and today, I'm watching her walk around and talk to me, and putting her teeny-tiny clothing away in storage.

We weighed her naked this morning on the Wii, and she's a little over 19 1/2 pounds. She'll be 20 pounds by her one year mark, I'm sure. She's at or above 30 inches, and we went up to the next size car seat. Her old one is now in the basement crawl space, awaiting the next (if any) child.

She's walking with ease, doing some running, and very stable unless she's tired. She's eating more solids and her poo is more solid too. :) And she's "talking" more -- she's definitely said "Mommy" and "Dadda," "Kitty," and we've recently heard "Delilah" and "Hello." Daycare says that she'll say "All Done" and sign "all done" when she's finished eating. A few days ago she slept for 5 hours in a row at night without rousing -- hasn't done it since, but I expect we might once her first-year molars are through. She keeps working her back gums with her teethers, so likely anytime now.

Here's some pictures of Emma playing with the couch-cushion fort we built yesterday. Happy 11 months old, my baby girl!

Some Cool Things

First of all, Emma just absolutely *loves* her new blankie. Now that it's colder, we're using a lot more of her blankets. The blue one that Steph knitted is her blanket for daycare, the striped one that Grandma Miller crocheted is her bedtime blanket, and the new one that Grandma Maurine, Jen and Steph all made together is her new, favorite "I'm carrying it around and playing peek-a-book" blanket. I love that most of the blankets that we're using are hand-made. :) Awesome stuff!

Here's a video of her and her new blanket!






Second, I got a very neat email. Some of you know I've been serving on a Task Force for the American Psychological Association. It's a big deal, and initially I really couldn't do a good job because I was heavily pregnant and then had a newborn. But over the last few months I've really worked hard and done quite a few things that I felt contributed to the group. Yesterday evening I get an email from the current and upcoming President of APA and it reads something a bit like this....

"In consultation with APA President-Elect and the Project Team Chair, I selected you from an impressive list of nominees for the unique qualities you will bring to this task. "

The rest of the email describes the requirements of the position (e.g., 3-4 trips to DC in an 18-month period; it's a 3-year commitment, etc.). I've already said yes, it took about 2 minutes for me to think it through and run it by Joe. I know if we do get pregnant and have another baby that will throw a kink in those plans, but this is a HUGE career move for me. There are already several people in this group that are well-known and would be important people to know if I do eventually want to work on Capital Hill.

And hey -- if they think I have unique qualities, including the ability to add to the credibility of the group, who am I to tell them they're wrong! LOL.

Last, but not least, I'm SO proud of my baby girl. She's starting to talk up a storm, and is going through some sort of growth spurt where she's eating bigger and bigger meals. She's SO happy to see her Momma at the end of the day, and we're enjoying each other so much. I get the best cuddles and hugs right now. She looks to me for comfort and security. I just can't believe that she's almost a year old. Wow.

New Favorite Blankie

Thank you to Grandma Maurine, Jen and Steph for the *gorgeous* blanket! She already loves it so very much. I have a video to upload at some point soon.

Where's Emma?


Peek-a-boo!!

More Daddy Videos

Daddy's Videos

Here are a few videos Daddy took. He was trying to capture her new "grumble" that she does. She'll wander around, grumbling under her breath. It's absolutely adorable!

More 10-Month Videos

Here we have Emma, destroying a tower of blocks that Daddy built. :)




Emma having a good time with the leaves in the back yard (or rather, Daddy having fun putting leaves on Emma in the back yard).

Some 10 Month Pictures

This picture was taken this evening in our back yard, she had fun playing with the leaves.


And this was just the night before during play time in the basement -- I love the wild hair!

"Helping" Crochet

I'm trying to make Emma a sweater, and she was helping. :)

Scary Tiger

10 Months Old!

When did my baby turn 10 months old? How did she get that big?!


*She's about 19 1/2 pounds now, and likely at 30 inches. We have to get a new car seat ASAP.

*She's walking.... we have to do better babyproofing ASAP!! :) She can walk across a room very steadily and carries things with her.

*She eats pretty much anything unless it's a choking or allergy hazard. She loves turkey bits, sweet and sour meatballs were a hit this past week, and she loves Great-Grandma's apple butter on pumpkin pancakes.

*She isn't talking much yet, just saying "kitteh" and "Daddy" and occasionally "Mommy" (but not necessarily to us, still randomly).

*She's drinking from a cup more and more; we're thinking of transitioning fully from the bottle to a cup very soon.

Here's a few videos from the last few weeks to share when she was still 9 months. :)

A Whole Lotta Walking

At one day before the 10-month mark!

Preview: Autumn Photo Shoot

There are a lot of good pictures that Daddy took. Here's one Momma took while we're waiting for the editing process.

Cute But Messy

The bib says it all!

Stuff

So busy..... some random thoughts and a picture or two.

The adults in the household have colds, but we're hoping Emma fights it off. The constant sneezing is annoying! Both for me and for my clients.

It's week 4 of the quarter, so this weekend I have 35 papers to grade and Joe has a presentation to write. Hopefully Emma does some good napping this weekend, although I could use a nap myself.

I miss Simba very, very much. It was a little over a year ago that she died, and it seems like just yesterday that we lost her. I still cry over missing her. I wish she could have met Emma.

I miss my three angel babies. I miss the "what-would-have-been." I wonder about how different things would have been had any of those babies been born. I'm SO very thankful for Emma though, and I'm glad we had her -- she's an absolute joy.

Emma goes down to sleep very easily now, and bedtime is a joy rather than a chore. She's still not sleeping through the night but whatever, I'll take my blessings where I can find them.

Come on tooth #8! I think you've gone backwards instead of coming out. Last night you were just there at the skin and then tonight not so much.

The crock pot has gotten a LOT of use in the last week. We've made 3 new recipes, all of which Emma absolutely loves. The only problem is that one of the dishes we made has some type of super-farting power for Emma. She's been restless starting at 4am (when the gas drops wear off, maybe?) and farts, farts, farts until she wakes up between 5 and 5:30am.

And here are the pictures!

Domestic Day

What a wonderful day! Emma got up at 5:30 am (despite our best efforts to keep her asleep) and so we got an early start to the day. I made almond waffles (gluten free!) and everyone enjoyed them. We got back to bed at 7am for a nap, and Emma slept until 9am.

Around 10, we got on the road to our pumpkin patch. It was a "pick your own" farm, so we got our little cart and went out into the field. It was absolutely a joy, and Emma wasn't sure what to do, but she knew it was fun to get on her knees in the dirt. We found several perfect pumpkins for all of us, plus some fun little gourds for her to play with. And we ended up buying some wonderful mini-peppers (perfect for roasting with beef) as well as some blueberry/blackberry preserves. Yum. Oh -- did I mention the fresh-from-the-fryer pumpkin donuts? Delicious!!

Back home and to nap #2 for Emma. I got a head start on laundry, and got some work done. We watched some football, and when Emma got up, we played for a while and then walked to the store to get napkins. More playing, more laundry, and at 7:30, Emma went to bed.

Since she's been to bed, I've folded all the laundry, Joe and I have all the diapers folded and prepped, AND I finally pulled out my sewing machine and started replacing the velcro tabs and laundry tabs on my older BG's. It was so much easier than I thought it would be, and I can finish up tomorrow.

I'm just about ready for bed myself! :) What a blessed day.

Walking ... Wow!

Just a few days ago, Emma took her first unassisted step. We were down in the basement, having our play time, and she let go of what she was holding on and took one step, and then decided she wanted to go on her knees and crawl. We were VERY excited! I've been predicting that she'll walk by Halloween for a while now.

Today when I picked her up from daycare, the caregiver said that she had walked from the door to the wall all by herself -- something like 5-6 feet! What?! Really?! I didn't believe it, but ok... maybe she did?

Well, tonight while we were in the basement, she took 6 unassisted steps in a row before deciding being on her knees was faster. I ran upstairs to get the camera and tried to capture it, but she wouldn't perform on command. :) Then the batteries died, and when Joe went upstairs to get new batteries, she did it again!! And then wouldn't do it again while the camera was on.

But it's very true... in the span of 4 days, little Miss Trouble has gone from just taking one step to taking multiple steps all by herself. She's growing up in front of our eyes. She's eating more and more solids, babbling more, making more solid poos, and her hair is growing long enough that it's curling around her ears and touching the lower part of her neck. Instead of a baby, I look at her and almost see a toddler.

Hopefully I'll get some pictures this weekend. We're heading out to go pick out pumpkins on Saturday, and then on Sunday we're all participating in the suicide prevention walk. OH-- and THANK YOU Cousin Debbie for the wonderful Halloween package that arrived in the mail yesterday! Emma had a great time opening everything (and trying to eat the paper).

*sigh*

All I *really* wanted for my birthday was 8 hours of sleep. Didn't necessarily need to be in a row, but two 4-hour chunks would have been nice. Except that top tooth is breaking through. AND something gave her pretty bad gas, even with the gas drops. So I got 1 1/2 hours of sleep, then up for a while, then a half hour of sleep, then up again, then broken sleep, then up for an hour and I tried to let Joe help with her but between her crying in pain and the cat scratching at the bedroom door, I couldn't sleep, then another half hour of sleep before the alarm rang and I've got to get moving to my 12-hour work day. Maybe 3, 3 1/2 hours of sleep all together?

She's not sleeping through the night, not even close, at 9 1/2 months of age. I know it's partly this tooth right now, but I haven't even gotten 5 hours of sleep in a row since she was born. I pray that it gets better soon.

However, I do thank God every day that I have a reason for not sleeping. I'm grateful to have my little girl, and a roof over my head, and a job to wake up early to get to, and a bed to toss and turn in. I just wish I were awake enough to enjoy all of those things.

Busy Weekend!

What an interesting weekend. It was a big eating weekend and a strange sleeping weekend. This weekend Emma ate:

Banana Pancake
Pumpkin Pancake with Applebutter (she LOVED the applebutter)
Avocado, Chicken and Goat Milk Cheddar Quesadillas
Chicken and Dumplings
Meatballs
Mashed Potatoes (made with olive oil and almond milk)
Pumpkin Mini-Muffins
Mashed Peas

Everything was made from scratch! We froze the muffins and pancakes so there's plenty for later. She absolutely loved everything and ate so much.

Yesterday she had some great naps -- a 2 hr, 20 min nap in the morning and an hour and 15 minute nap in the afternoon, but then she fought going to sleep and around 9:30pm, she woke up and cried for about an hour and a half before going back to sleep. It took almost that long for me to figure out that it was probably her tooth and I gave her some generic tylenol, but even after that she was restless and up half the night.

But I was right! Tooth #7 broke through the skin last night.

Today she took a 1 1/2 hour and a 1 hour nap, went down very quickly at 7:30 after we gave her some more tylenol and orajel. She's sleeping now... we'll see. That top tooth (#8) has yet to get through the skin, but we can see it.

Tonight we also got to talk to Grandma and Grandpa L! It was really fun seeing them on Skype, and they got to watch Emma walking all over with her walker and playing with Samson. Skype is a wonderful invention.

We didn't get many pictures, but we will soon -- next weekend is Pumpkin Patch weekend!

A Few Random Pictures

A great picture Joe took of Emma while Grandma and Grandpa L. were here... just a random shot. I absolutely LOVE the way it makes her eyes look.


Emma at the PBJ & Jazz Concert a few weekends back.


Emma & Grandpa L. having a good time!

9 Month Appointment

Weight: 18lb, 9oz (up from 6lb, 5oz at birth; almost tripled her birth weight! 50th percentile)
Length: 28 1/24 inches (up from 20 inches at birth; 75th percentile)
Head Circumference: 17 inches (50th percentile)

The pediatrician was very pleased that we were still breastfeeding, and remarked how Emma seemed to be very happy and healthy. She made sure we had started babyproofing (we have, somewhat) and gave us the number for poison control, LOL.

Emma tolerated her flu shot and the first of the Hep B vaccination shots like a trooper -- she didn't even cry. Momma's got a short day at work, so I'm going to pick her up early from daycare and we'll have a little time together before Daddy gets home to do some special things.

My baby is 40 weeks old today!

Pancakes and More

Emma has really enjoyed solids lately. She still loves strips of chicken, but her new second-favorite food are some home-made breadsticks that Momma made today. We also had banana pancakes for the very first time. This is Grandpa Miller's recipe that we modified to use almond milk instead of cow milk.

Here she is, diving into her very first pancake ever.




And the after-effects...




And for fun, a video we took at Hayden Run Falls near Upper Arlington, Ohio

9 Month Update

A few days late. :)



My big girl is likely right at 18 1/2 pounds, and we think 28-29 inches long. We'll find out exact measurements at her pediatrician appointment on Monday.

She's eating all kinds of things now, she seems to like chicken quite a bit, loves her fruit, and her favorite veggie right now is green bean. She still doesn't eat a huge amount of solid food, but she's getting it offered to her 4-5 times a day (3 "meals" and 2 snacks). She's regularly eating 12-13 oz of breastmilk at daycare now too.

She's standing by herself for 10+ seconds without holding on (today she made it to 20 seconds while I was watching), and using her walker to move. No steps by herself though, my guess is that we'll see that right around Halloween. She can crawl faster than I ever imagined, and loves climbing over things -- including Daddy and the cats.

We think she's said "Daddy" and "Mommy" and "Kitty," and she might be signing "all done." We're not sure but it's usually around the time she pulls her bib off, throws it down and makes all the signs that she's done with the high chair.

Six teeth are in, 2 are still working their way through the gums. Her hair is long enough to cover the top of her ears and is curling down her neck just a little bit. And she's sleeping better.... going to sleep more easily, and sleeping bigger chunks at night, although if she's napped poorly, this changes.

Can't believe my big girl has been out of my body longer than she was in there now! That's amazing to me.

Birthdays

Four days ago would have been my Grandma Emma's 100th birthday. Tomorrow would be my Grandma Gladys' birthday. I wish Emma could have met both of her Great-Grandma's... they would have loved her SO much. We miss them both very, very much.

Emma had her 9-month birthday yesterday. We celebrated a little by letting her try some coconut ice cream (she loved it!) and Daddy made home-made bread (which she also loved). I'll post a 9-month update very soon, but paperwork comes first.

From my lips to Heaven's ears.... we love you Great-Grandma Emma and Gladys!

Naps

I just want to say that ever since we read about the 2-3-4 naptime schedule, naps have been fabulous here at home. What is it? Well... Emma gets up, and 2 hours later we offer her first nap. She's been going down VERY easily and napping between 1 1/2-2 hours. Then 3 hours after she gets up, we offer the second nap. Typically again, she goes down very easily and naps for about an hour. And then 4 hours (or so) after she gets up from that, it's bedtime.

We're flexible about half an hour around each time, but so far it's worked like a dream. It's just too bad that it doesn't work like that at daycare -- she's just too excited to be around her friends to nap there.

We Love to Swing!

Here's the video Daddy took at the Dayton Air Force Museum. They have an outdoor playground near the museum.




P.S. Last night didn't go as well as the night before, boo. :(

Oh, And...

She slept 4 hours solidly in the crib last night (7:30 - 11:30pm), then came to bed and slept solidly after eating for another 5 hours (11:30 - 4:30), and then slept solidly again until 5:45. We got up, Mommy showered, and I fed her. She fell back asleep around 6:30am and slept solidly until 8:20am. Not to mention she took an almost 2-hour nap at daycare today.

Too bad Mommy had insomnia last night and couldn't take advantage of any of it! I was up until 3am, wide awake. Finally went into the other room and let Daddy take over, slept for about an hour, then re-joined them and slept for another hour. Hopefully I'll get a good night's sleep tonight.

I think (knock on wood) it helps that she is ALL about eating right now! She's eating upwards of 12-13 oz at daycare routinely now, at least 2-3 meals of solids (not a lot, but more than ever before), last night she was ravenous and just kept eating and eating and eating plus nursed, and tonight she even took BOTH breasts before bed. And that was after supper and 3 oz of breastmilk in a cup.

Some other things I think really have helped are that the teeth are also almost through the skin, all 4 of them. That has to be more comfortable. It's cooler at night, so she's not sticky and hot. We're putting her to bed just half an hour later, and we're doing "active" play in the basement, then "quiet" play upstairs right before bedtime. We've got all the windows open so she can get lots of fresh air. AND I think we solved the leak issue -- I put her night-time diaper on the longest length, and no more leak. She's grown so much that our BumGenius are actually now at the longest length they can go. I hope they last until toddlerhood!

Overall, I can tell that before now, she just wasn't really ready. She wasn't eating solids all that enthusiastically other than 2-3 bites, and now she is. She's finally getting those bottles down at daycare. And physically, I think she's in a more comfortable place with those teeth.

It may not last, but I'll take it while it's here!

100 Balls

It wasn't as impressive as I thought it was going to be, but Emma had fun. LOL. 100 balls for $10 at WalMart.

More Fun Videos

Grandma and Grandpa Lewis brought Emma this fun walker that converts into a scooter. Last night we took it into the basement where there's more room, and this is what Emma did.

More 8-Month Videos

From the last few days....

Little Bears Fan

Thank you for the shirt, Grandma and Grandpa Lewis!

8-Month Videos

Emma loves it when we "pretend" to chew on her teething rings, and in this case she got so excited she attacked Mommy!




That same day, being VERY interested in the camera. You can really see her teeth!



Emma at the Topiary park yesterday, such a happy baby!



Emma in the walker that Grandma and Grandpa Lewis got for us, she gets really excited to "chase" Mommy!




And last, but not least, introducing Purple Ghost Baby!! She loves it when we put this purple blanket that Great-Aunt Janie made for her over her head because she can see out, but she's "hiding" from us. I think she looks a bit like those Charlie Brown ghosts from the Halloween special (remember that?).

PBJ & Jazz

We went to the Columbus Deaf Park today; there's a Topiary Park and the Jazz Arts group sponsors a "PBJ & Jazz" Concert series designed to introduce kids to jazz. We had a fabulous time. Emma loved the music and she loved watching all the kids and adults milling around. We definitely need to do more things like that.

As soon as I can get the video downloaded, I'll put it up here for sharing!

On a side note, despite one little rough patch around 11pm, Emma had a great night last night. Down to bed easily, nursed only twice through the night, and woke up in a FABULOUS mood. She got 12 hours of sleep. Add on top of that a 2-hour nap this morning, and what appears to be at least an hour nap right now, and we're having a great sleeping day.

Now if we can only get those teeth out. Yes.... there are 4 coming through at the same time. Poor thing, no wonder she was miserable before!

GREAT Night!

Really. I can't even believe it myself after the rough start. But I went to bed and brought her with me at 9:45. She nursed and nursed and nursed (made up for the rotten nursing at 7pm), and I think we fell asleep around 10, 10:15ish. Well, let me re-phrase that. She was asleep the whole time, I fell asleep around that time.

AND didn't wake up until 2:30 am! Seriously, almost 4 1/2 hours of sleep. Longest sleep ever!

We nursed, Daddy changed a wet diaper while I ran to the bathroom myself, and we went back to sleep. She nursed one more time somewhere in there (not sure when, I didn't look at the clock), and then she didn't wake up until 7:30am. Wow. We had a great nursing session before getting out of bed to start our day.

As much as I don't want to repeat the start of last night, I'd definitely repeat the sleeping portion. I feel like a new woman today. :)

Ok -- back to work!

Zoo Visit

It was cool this morning (45 when we woke up, 55 when we got moving) so we went to the zoo for a few hours to see how the animals were enjoying the nicer weather. They were all so active! Here's just a few clips of Emma with two of her favorite animals.

Yeah, She's Standing

Not just the pulling-up-on-stuff standing, but tonight several times she stood independent of holding onto anything, and the longest was about 5 seconds. I grabbed the camera, but all I got was the tail end of her standing up and then letting herself down.

Why is my baby growing up so fast?!

Sleep Success!

We figured out that Emma's recent sleep issue are directly related to (1) her recent MASSIVE growth spurt (a pound gained in less than 10 days folks!), and (2) teeth # 5 and #6 coming in, just starting to break through the skin today. Each and every time she teethes, the week to 10 days before hand she gets very cranky and doesn't like lying down, and is very fidgety. That, combined with AF showing up and tanking my milk supply this past week is the likely culprit.

Last night she went to sleep easily in her crib, slept for 2 1/2 hours, came to bed with me and I nursed her, and she only roused a couple of times to nurse. Tonight she took a 1 hr, 40 minute nap at daycare, and fell asleep in her crib without my help within 3 minutes of me putting her in there. She's been sleeping about 11-12 hours each night, with the sole exception of the day that she had a MASSIVE poo at 5am and just was so wound up that she couldn't go back to sleep. I believe it was Tuesday night that she slept for 4 hours in a row at one point? But I've been feeling a bit more rested, thank goodness.

We're all looking forward to the 3-day weekend. Work has completely swamped me -- I think I've had two 50-hour weeks back-to-back, and this week is shaping up to hit that mark also. I'll be glad when I'm done covering for one of our clinicians who is out with medical issues, although the extra work has been wonderful and I won't complain about the extra money. :)

Just a Few Pictures

From today, a VERY happy baby at the zoo!



And Emma with her Grandma and Grandpa Lewis last week.

It's All Good

Life is good!

Work kept me very busy these last two weeks and even though it means I'm working in the evenings after Emma goes to bed, it also means we have money to pay the bills and I'm not worrying as much. I'm very thankful I've got a good job and one I like.

After introducing and her finally "getting" the sippy cup, we're getting more milk into her! She gets a sippy cup with breastmilk with every solid meal now. At daycare today she drank 3 1/2 oz from a bottle, then an hour later drank 3 oz from a sippy cup, and then a couple of hours later, drank another 3 oz from a bottle. She got 12 1/2 oz of milk at daycare today! She's been averaging 10+ this past week, which is phenomenal and I'm very happy about.

She's also getting better at the chewing thing, and eating her solids with more vigor. Tonight we went out to eat, and she had bites of our chicken dumplings and pieces of avocado that were on my sushi roll. She LOVED the dumpling. Almost ate an entire one with our help. Then she nursed while we were still in the restaurant, PLUS she nursed when we got home.

Can we say "growth spurt?" LOL.

This also means more peaceful nights. We're giving her tylenol because with the amount of drool, I was suspecting a tooth and I was right. So she falls asleep quickly now again (tonight without even having my hand on her or me shushing her, I was just standing by the crib) and last night she drank at 11pm, 1:30am, and then not again until 5am! Oh, I'm so very happy. And she was so cute -- she farted a big adult-sized fart at 5am and woke herself up. So we all got up and while I got ready for work, she and Daddy played quietly in the front room. And then around 6am I took her up and nursed her, and we all cuddled together in bed. She fell asleep around 6:20am. I got up at 7 to leave for work, and Daddy texted me later to tell me they both slept until 8:20am. With that 2-hour nap, she got about 12 1/2 hours of sleep last night.

Naps at daycare are still not great, but it's all good.... we'll figure that out too. I'm feeling peaceful and fulfilled, and thanking God that life is so good.

Hopefully I'll get pictures up from Grandma and Grandpa Lewis's visit very soon!

8 Month Updates

At 8 months, Emma...

*Is crawling with ease, standing with ease and can squat without toppling over.
*Has now eaten chicken, beef and fish, in addition to numerous fruits and vegetables.
*Maybe has said Momma and Dada, linking to us (we're not 100% sure)
*Visited with Grandma and Grandpa Lewis!

I don't know how much she weighs, but I can tell you that she hasn't gained much weight over the last 2 months. I'm chalking it up to her moving more, but it appears she's going through a growth spurt right now. For the last two nights, she's wanted to eat every hour again. AND she's eating like a big girl during the day -- 11 oz of breastmilk today at daycare, a big chunk of banana and a big chunk of avocado, not to mention the banana, mango and cereal she had at breakfast and the hamburger and sweet potato she had at supper. She's drinking breastmilk with her solid meals, and she apparently LOVES the breastmilk cold, she's gulping it down like there's no tomorrow.

The reason I also think she's growing and maybe putting a tooth through too is that she's now fighting bedtime also. It's taken over 35 minutes for her to even settle down, when for over a month she'd been falling asleep within 5-10 minutes in the crib. I'm half tempted to give her some tylenol, since I wonder if she's hurting, but I don't want to give it unless I'm sure that's what is going on.

In any case, there are dishes to be done, diapers to be folded, and lunches to be made for tomorrow. Work has been super-duper-amazingly busy lately and I just can't keep up with the paperwork.

Yay!

Last night Emma slept from 7pm to 7am, and only roused to nurse twice during that time. The first time was at 9:30pm (and I knew she was going to need it because she was too riled up from the visit with Grandma and Grandpa Lewis to eat well at 6:30) and the second one was somewhere in the middle of the night. She had some restless times, but when I left her alone and let her crawl around in the bed, she settled herself back to sleep. I just kept myself on one side of the bed, watched her and made sure she didn't crawl under the sheet. It was really quite entertaining.

But that's not the only awesome thing. This morning we had our FIRST FORMED STOOL!! :) I know, I shouldn't be so excited about it but it was so easy to clean up -- I just plopped it into the toilet and flushed.

I wonder if there's a link between her digesting/processing food better and now sleeping better? She has been eating a few more solids this week too.

Happy 8 months old, my gorgeous Emma!

Of Course

Last night she slept better. Maybe just typing out the post helped?

She went to bed after a 20-minute fight, and roused about 30 minutes later. Daddy soothed her by patting and shushing, and I didn't even go up -- and it actually worked. She went back to sleep and slept until 11pm (so from 7:20 - 11 was one stretch). She came to bed and I nursed her, and she slept solidly until 1:45 when she nursed, needed a diaper change, and then nursed again and around 2:30 she settled back down (she was asleep but restless) and didn't wake up until 6am when she poo-ed. We're up for the day now.

So I slept from 10:30 to 11, then from 11:30 to 1:30 (3 hours), and then from about 2:45 - 6 (3 hours 15 minutes). I feel better today than I have in a while. Let's cross our fingers I get at least one more night like this.

Sleep Part Two

Some background about Emma's sleeping:
1) I do ALL of the sleep work, with the sole exception of her naps at daycare and a very occasional nap that Daddy helps her with. This was NOT my choice, but a choice of necessity since Joe was taking classes in the evenings and now is teaching at night, and since we want consistency in her routine, I have to be the only one that does it.

2) I am co-sleeping with Emma. Joe sleeps in another room. Again, this was out of necessity -- he was ill for a time and his coughing was waking her up. And after that, it was because he is much worse than I am when he goes without sleep, and I'd rather be sleep deprived than him because I can't deal with a grumpy husband and grumpy baby. He has been sleeping in another room since she was 3 months old.

3) Until lately, she has not had to have a new diaper at night. We use barrier cream and a liner so that the wetness does not wake her up. The only role Daddy has at night is to change her diaper if she is wet/poops or if she leaks. The last week we've had HUGE leaks and I don't know what's going on with my diapers. I've stripped them twice and that seems not to help. But that's for another post.

4) She reverse-cycles. If kellymom.com is correct and she should be getting about 30 oz of breastmilk a day, she MAYBE eats 10 oz at daycare. At MOST. One day she ate 12 oz and I was in heaven. Most of the time she'll eat 8-9 oz. That means she gets the rest overnight.

5) She DOES sleep through the night. Yes, yes she does. Unless she cries herself awake. She falls asleep between 7-7:30, and when she cries or gets restless, we comfort her BEFORE she wakes up. At night, when she rouses and cries, I try to soothe her by patting her or shushing her, and when that does not work and she gets more riled up, I give her the breast. Typically she'll sleep until 5:30 or 6am. Meaning, she gets 10-11 hours of sleep at night but I have to wake up multiple times to make sure she stays asleep.

6) Issues with naps at daycare continue. If she gets 2 1/2-3 hours of napping, she falls asleep much quicker. Today she had two 30-minute naps, and it took us 30 minutes before she fell asleep. There was about a month-long period where she took a 2-hour nap consistently over the noon hour, and then a 1/2 hour nap in the late afternoon. That has changed and I have no idea why.

7) Nursing time. Since she was about 3 months old, she hasn't nursed longer than 5-6 minutes at a time. She nurses through my let-down, and then will nurse a few more minutes and she's done. At work when I pump, I can get 5+ ounces of breastmilk in less than 10 minutes from the two sides, so I'm assuming she's getting about 4 oz each time she nurses in just one breast. She rarely switches, and she gets very angry when I try to "force" her to drink more. She'll bite me, and I'm not having that.

With that background, here's the gist of the schedule.

5:30 Home, nursing if she hasn't had a bottle at daycare late (sometimes they give her a very late bottle, like at 4:30).
5:30 - 6pm Supper with Mommy & Daddy. She'll usually eat a piece of vegetable (1 oz?), a piece of fruit (1 oz) and then she'll nurse.
6 - 6:30 Quiet play time with Mommy & Daddy. We usually have a 20-minute song that plays on one of her toys that we'll get going around 6:10pm to let her know that it's nearing time for bed.
6:30 - 6:40 Bath time and/or washing time
6:40 - 6:45 Naked time upstairs in her room while Mommy prepps her bedtime diaper and bed
6:45 Bedtime diaper on
6:45 - 6:50/6:55 Nursing
6:55 Bedtime story
7:00 Mommy sings a bedtime song and we rock for 5 minutes. I say to her "we're going to rock for 5 minutes and then it's bedtime."
7:05 I kiss her, tell her I love her, and then I put her in her crib with her favorite blanket and her lovey (a toy bunny).

**If she's had good naps, she'll fall asleep within 5 minutes. I used to need to pat her to comfort her, but now I can just stand there and shush her a little, and she'll fall asleep. On a bad day, I have to pat her, shush her, and occasionally put her back down in the crib after she climbs up to standing.

8:30/9pm Emma cries. If she's left unattended, she starts to scream harder, and cries. She gets hysterical. We go up, she's usually standing in her crib and/or sitting up. Her eyes may be open or still shut, but she's typically still asleep even if her eyes are open. I lay her back down, shush and pat her. Occasionally she'll settle back down within 5 minutes, sometimes she gets more and more hysterical, and I have to pull her out and nurse her. If she wakes up, it takes 30 minutes to get her back to sleep.

If she doesn't wake up at that time, I take her to bed with me between 10-10:30pm. If she's still in the crib, then around 10:30/11pm she cries again. At this point, I just take her to bed and typically she nurses again. She's still drinking well at this point.

11:30/midnight. She gets restless. She starts to kick. I wake up, move her away from me (she's usually cuddled up with me, even if we start the night apart) and wait it out. She screams. She cries. She kicks and writhes around. I shush her and try to pat her. The screaming gets worse. I nurse her, and she goes back to sleep.

2am. More restless kicking. I try to pat her and shush her. Sometimes I ignore her and see if she'll go back to sleep. Lately she's been rolling around, rolling onto her stomach and then rolling back, sometimes she'll try to crawl around. She's asleep this entire time. Then she'll sit up and start to cry, start to scream. I put her back down. She wails and kicks in her sleep until I nurse her again.

4:30am Up and kicking, crying again until nursing.

5am Crying, restless. Typically wants to nurse again.

5:30/6am Usually has her big poo at this point, typically has some gas ahead of time where she'll kick and writhe around. She does not want to nurse at this time. I give up and just have Joe get her a new diaper and I go shower for the day.

7:30 am Last nursing before she goes to daycare.

Ok Mommies... have at it. Deconstruct it for me, tell me what's going on and/or help me figure out what to do. I'm about THIS close to just letting her cry it out, but that would just break my heart. I stand in the hallway in the evenings, just sobbing at times because she won't go to sleep and there's nothing I feel I can do.

That Sleep Thing

Really, just when I think we've "got" it, it appears we don't "have" it at all.

First off, let me just say that for a brief moment, I'm so very jealous of those people who proudly post on FaceBook "my baby is 3 months old and she/he slept from 10pm until 7am this morning!." But only for a brief moment, because ALL of those babies are formula fed. I'm still breastfeeding my baby at almost 8 months, and intend on doing so as long as she'll let me, so I'll sacrifice the fact that she'll digest her food more easily and it's better on her tummy and her system for that "ALL" night sleep. But I'm briefly jealous anyway.

It has been over a year since I got more than 3 hours of sleep in a row. Granted, when I was pregnant I could get up, go to the bathroom, and immediately go back to sleep. That was heaven and I didn't realize it. Since Emma was born, I think I've gotten those 3 hours of sleep in a row just twice... and one night I might have gotten 3 1/2 hours of sleep. But ultimately, she's still up every 1 1/2 to 2 hours to eat. Is she *really* hungry, you ask? Oh boy YES.... as soon as she latches on, she gulps and gulps and gulps frantically for about 3-4 minutes, and then she's done. Nursing, that is.... she comfort sucks for a few more minutes until I de-latch her and then she's back in a deeper sleep.

I really understand at this point why sleep deprivation is a torture device, however. This was the sacrifice I made when I wanted to breastfeed, and I didn't want to even give her breastmilk from a bottle if I was around. But boy.... I would give ANYTHING right now to get 4-5 hours of sleep in a row. Eight hours? I can't even fathom what that would feel like.

More on sleep tomorrow..... her patterns, and maybe my experienced Mommies out there can help me figure this out (and yes, I've read the "No Cry Sleep Solution").

Zoo Part Two

Just a few pictures from today's zoo trip. We started the day at the aquarium, where Emma just *loves* watching the fish in the big tank. She is fascinated by the sharks and the rays, and just stared and stared and stared. We then went to the manatee tank, and watched them munch on some of their breakfast lettuce.

Our next stop was the kangaroos, which was fun because they were very active. Morning is so much better for the zoo animals, I think. Right next to the kangaroo area was the Lorikeet area. You can go in and feed the lorikeets nectar out of a cup, and they'll land right on you. They were very friendly, but they can nip at you if you try to pet them. Emma wasn't sure what to think of the birds, but she learned very quickly you shouldn't try to grab their tails!




After the birds, we stopped by the model of the stinkiest flower in the world! Emma had a great time getting into the flower for a picture.



We dropped by the orangutan and then before we left, dropped back by the aquarium because the touch pool was open. Emma isn't big enough to touch, but she enjoyed looking.



The Columbus Zoo is ranked #2 in the nation, and deservedly so. It is a phenomenal place, and is literally a 15-minute drive from our house. We're more than got our money's worth out of our zoo membership at this point, between parking and admission, and we plan on going at least a couple of times a month.